Clubbing, Sex and Regret.

This entry is dedicated to all my guy friends who constantly ask me questions concerning the female population. Ok... Don't ask me why people always come to me for advice whenever it comes to matter regarding the female population. I have no idea. I have neither the professional expertise nor experience in such matters. I guess that hanging around predominantly with platonic female friends have given me a better insight on their complex behaviour and mindset. I feel I have a moral duty to educate the male population. With enough said and done, let's begin with this lesson.

**Disclaimer**
I'm no love guru, neither am I some professional skirt chaser. I have my own code of ethics and I believe that in no way that girls should be treated with disrespect. If you are expecting tips on how to be a swinger/ how to cheat on your partner/ how to flirt without getting caught, *shame on you*. THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR YOU. I do not believe in all that nonsense. Tips given here are based on my own personal judgement and may/ may not be socially/ethically acceptable to some. The better man (me) also disclaims all responsibility and liability which may/may not lead to your personal uprise/downfall while employing such tactics. Tips given below have/have not been tried and tested. Readers are advised to employ them on their own personal risk. All characters mentioned below are ficticious and do not represent anyone dead or otherwise. If you agree to these terms and conditions, read on. Otherwise, click here and entertain yourself with something more “wholesome” instead of flaming me and complaining/whining/bitching about how your life would have been better if not this entry.

Clubbing night's out

At the pub
It was another typical Wednesday night. Peeter Parker met up with his buddies after work and they were hanging at their usual pub for a drink.

Peteer Parker- Yo bros, I sick of all these crap, can't we go somewhere else. Need some spice in my life. You know, some place more "exciting", here got no chio bu. Haiz.. *Shakes his head in disappointment.*

Tom Kruise- Yeah man... this place suxs. I'm tired of hanging here all the time. This place is cool, but....*rests his head on the bar counter*.... sibeh sian* And we all do not even have girl friends...

Blatt Pitt- Why not we go down to dbl-O tonight? Ladies nite right? Sure got a lot of chio bu then we can also go down to the dance floor to rock our sexy manly bodies. Steady? I'm sure the chicks will be impressed by us.

Peteer Parker & Tom Kluise- Steady! Let's go clubbing tonite. woo hoo.. Fiona xie... Fann Wong look a likes, here we come!! Haha. *Runs off excitedly*

Upon arrival and dbl-O

*Dum da da dum da* Sounds of groovy beats can be heard in the background.

Tom Kruise- Eh? How come the queue is so long.

Blatt Pitt- Yeah man.. Looks like we have to queue up. Hey... Check out that cute chick on the right. Groovvvy.

Tom Kruise- Yeah man.. she's hot. Wow.. *starts to drool*

Blatt Pitt- *Hits Tom's head* Hey! stop drooling, your saliva is dripping all over the floor. By the way, where is that Peeter Parker. He always disappears mysteriously. Wonder what he is up to this time.

Tom Kruise- *Looks around* I don't see that bugger... OH! There he is...hmm.. wait a minute. I smell a rat. Shucks! Do u believe it? He's chatting with that hot chick we saw moments ago...

*Blatt and Tom wave frantically to get Peeter's attention. Peeter sees them and reluctantly returns to his buddies.*

Peteer Parker- Hi guys. Wadzup? *Acts innocent*

Blatt Pitt- What were you doing with that hot chick? She looks like Kelly, you know… that one from Project Superstar.

Tom Kruise- You’re faster than I thought! We have yet to enter the club and you are already picking gals up. *Gives a brotherly punch to Peeter* I’m proud of you! Haha.

Blatt Pitt- Yeah. No surprise. Haha. Congrats bro. So have you gotten her number? What’s her name?

Peteer Parker- *Shrugs his shoulders* I have no idea. I just know that she’s called Ice. A cool chick with a hot body. I’ll give her 8/10 stars. I think she likes me.

*Blatt Pitt & Tom Kruise Laughs off as they all enter the club. *

All 3 dudes decide to get a few drinks to get started and they drink up chatting up about the day’s events.30 minutes later, they decide to go down to the dance floor. All 3 guys decide to go on their separate ways to look for their individual targets and agree to gather back 2 hours later. Blatt and Tom had little luck in attracting any girls. Peeter on the other hand had a different experience..

Peeter spotted Ice who was dressed in a tube top and a mini skirt. She dancing on the podium stands and was performing a very sensual dance. Peeter decided approached her directly, grooving his body through the crowd. Ice was totally already mildly drunk by then and she was crazily shaking her bonbons and was attracting a lot of attention from the male population who was swarming over her. Peeter decided that he would not stand any chance if he joined the rest of the other guys who were like packs of wolves cornering their prey. Hence he decided to do something different.

Peteer Parker- *Approaches Ice and passes her his hand phone* Hey! Your friend is one the line. He says that he just got something urgent to tell you.

Ice- Huh? *Taken by surprise*. This isn’t my phone. Hello… hey!

Peeter walks away in a cool manner, intentionally ignoring Ice’s claims. He takes his time and make sure he doesn’t turn back.

Ice- Hey! You… come back. *Steps down from the podium and chases after Peeter* There isn’t anyone on the line. You’ve made a mistake!

Peeter- *Turns around and pretends to look surprised. He smiles at Ice coyly and grabs her hand*. I know there isn’t anyone on the line. As a matter of fact, this is my phone. How else was I going to get your attention from the pack of wolves out there?

Ice- *Taken aback* Oh!

Lesson Learnt- Girls like her a constantly surrounded by desperate guys. Get her attention in your own personal unique way.

Peeter- By the way, take out your phone. Let me show you something.

Ice takes out her mobile phone, giving Peeter a surprised look. What was he up to? Peeter tell her to key in the number.

Peeter- Store this number in your phone. 98765432. You’ll need it later. By the way, you look ravishing in this outfit. But be careful out there will yeah?

Ice- Uh…Ok. *Confused but flattered at the same time*

Peeter- Nice meeting you. You can join me later when you’re done. I’ll be sitting at that corner. *Places his mouth near her ear and whispers* By the way, that’s my number. Call me.

<<>>

Ice smiles at him and returns to the dance floor. He’s quite an interesting guy, she thought to herself. Moments later, Ice decides to look for Peeter, she goes over to where he’s sitting and starts chatting. Both of them have a certain chemistry and as they are both under the influence of alcohol, they let loose their minds and let their instincts take over. Soon, they engage in a certain level of physical contact.

Peeter Parker- You’re cute. Have I met you before?

Ice- Yeah.. We chatted outside the club earlier. Remember?

Peeter Parker- *Acts deep in thought* Oh really…. Let me think….

Peeter Parker- Oh yeah… you’re that gal I met at the entrance. So what is a hot chick like you hanging out here? Don’t you have a life? You should be out with your boyfriend.

Ice- I like this place for the music, ambience and the drinks. I come here once in a while to chill out to get rid of all that stress at work. Haha. I don’t have time for a boyfriend. So this is the next best place to be.

Lesson Learnt- Peeter tried to engage in a mutual conversation to get information out of Ice in a subtle manner to know more about her status and lifestyle. He does not show that he is desperate to get Ice. Attractive ladies have guys skirt chasing them all the time. Say something different which will get her interested in you

Peeter Parker- That’s cool. But enough said. You look drunk to me.

Ice- I’m not. I’m just … … *Ice leans herself on Peeter and closes her eyes. The influence of alcohol has taken a toll on her.*

Peeter Parker- *Feels a big sense of ego boost* Hey Ice... are you alright? Hello? Let me send you back. Where do you stay?

Ice- … … … (*dead drunk*)

Peeter decides to bring Ice out. Despite his repeated talking to her, Ice is in a very drowsy state. Not knowing where to bring her, Peeter decides to bring her over to the nearest hotel and leave her there. Upon reaching the nearest hotel, Peeter places Ice on the bed and decides to wash up. He is still under some influence of alcohol and is semi conscious. When he was done washing up, he looked at Ice, stared at her body and before he knew it, his instincts look over…. Ice was slightly conscious by then, she knew Peeter was all over her but she couldn’t find the strength to push him away. Just then, she felt better groping her body and she knew what was going to happen next. She was not interested in selling her body. She did not want to engage in any sexual activity with a guy she met a few hours back.

Ice- Hey… stop… What are you doing? Get off me you jerk !!! *pushes him away but to no avail*

Peeter continues to let his instincts take control. Ice was furious by then. She felt she had to stop it before anything happened. Obviously she could not overpower him physically. Flashbacks of her self defence class started to come to her and she decided to do the only think she could remember.

*OUCH… OUCH…ouch…ouc…ou…o….*

Peeter laid on the bed with his hands at this groin in tremendous. Ice had given his a deadly kick between his legs. All peeter saw was Ice quickly getting her clothes in proper order and quickly leaving the room. He blacked out soon after.

When Peter woke up, he found him self lying on a cold and hard cement surface. The room was dark and dingy. He looked around… His hands were restrained by handcuffs. He saw that he was confined in the police lock up cell. Ice had called the police in bid to protect herself. Peeter knew this was the end, his moment of folly had led him to his downfall. He sat down on the floor with his knees bent and head bowed down… He was in trouble…

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Blatt Pitt and Tom Kluise- Hey friend, how did you end up here? What the hell were you thinking?? We could not find you and you just went missing? We rushed to the police station the moment we heard you were arrested. Don’t worry bro, we’ll try to bail you out… Eh.. Policeman.. how to get my friend out of jail? *Voices fade away as his friends walk out of the lockup area*

Lesson Learnt- Respect the lady and treat her with dignity. Just because she engages in some form of physical contact with you, it doesn't mean she wants sex. Clarify her intentions before doing any thing stupid. Be in control all the time. Do not take advantage of her under any situation. Read the women’s charter and educate yourself. I can only advice you how to get the ladies attention but only you are responsible for your personal actions after that. I do not condone any bastardly actions against the female population. Learn to be a better man.