Killer from the deep?

A ferocious predator of the deep has survived for 400 million years and has resisted evolution. The ultimate killing machine which enters a mindless frenzy at the slightly drip of BLOOD. The undisputed monster of the sea. It kills anything that moves with a bone crunching attack. No logic, No passion, No mercy. Pure carnage.

If you see a large unmistakable fin above the water with a huge dark shadow swimming towards you while you're swimming out at sea.... the jaws of death may just be the last sight you will ever have... Or will you live to tell your terrifying tale?





If you are lucky or unlucky enough to live through the fatal attack (depending on whatever that is left of you) , you'll most likely end up with horrific injuries with parts of your body brutally bitten off. The following link displays gruesome graphical details. You have been warned. Photos of shark attack victims can be found by clicking here.




Despite these cases (which have been recorded as statistically rare), do you know that the sharks main predator is none other than man? Sharks have been vastly huntered for the value of their fins to the extent that certain species are already nearing extinction? Many known shark species find their populations rapidly dwindling due to the extent of over-hunting. Environmentalist are calling for governments to protect the sharks and clip the shark fin trade which is booming in Asia. The fact that illegal sharking finning is rampant makes it more difficult to save this "prehistoric killing machine".


Real Time Facts

• The illegal fishing for shark fins in the Galapagos has increased dramatically in the past few years...

• According to WildAid, about 100 million sharks are killed every year in a trade which it likens to the scandal of the slaughter of elephants for their ivory...

• The fins themselves are dried and often end up in soup in Chinese restaurants all over the world, commanding prices of up to $80 per pound.

Source: BBC News

• Hong Kong is the centre of the world's shark's fin trade -- some 80 percent of all fins sold on the world market come through here...

• Environmentalists say shark's fins are harvested inhumanely in a process called "finning" in which fishermen hack off the limbs of live sharks and dump their bodies back to sea to die...

• Although tasteless and scientifically low in nutritional value, the gelatinous dish's high price makes it a status symbol and its consumption is considered a mark of wealth...

source: Channelnewsasia

Ever wanted to live a life as a shark? Ever wondered how it is to avoid all that senseless hunting for experimental reasons and to prevent being the next bowl of shark fin soup served in a chinese restaurant? Click on the picture below to play this cool flash game.

*Chomp Chomp* :D

Post entry- 15 Dec @ 2100 hrs (Singapore time)
Think you're good at it?
Beat my SCORE of 6500!

(Click on image to enlarge)

Google search bar

*Google search bar under construction*
Stay tuned


Post comment ( 15 Dec 05) - I've tweaked around and finally managed to get the google search bar working. Hope it is useful for you to search the net if needed.

Funky Underwear

I was keeping my laundry from the clothes line outside my hostel room when I made an interetsing discovery. Apparently, someone living one/two level(s) above me had accidentally dropped his/her underwear which landed on my clothesline. It was not so much about seeing an underwear drop from the sky but to see a pair of the boxers with cartoons(not too sure whether it was a guy or gal's boxers) It showed a picture of Homer Simpson which screamed;

Take me off !!

(The cartoon is not the same, but I happened to find a similar pose of homer off the net)

Groovy. Haha.

Let's all admit it. Underwears have become a fashion statement. Gone were the days where guys would have nothing but white/ off white underwear and girls will have plain beige boring under garments. People are no longer embarressed to show off their underwear. The tag that labelled people who own lots of flashy undies as perverts were a thing of a past. Nobody gives a hoot about laughing off at people's under garments. Remember an era not so long ago where young teenage guys loved to show off their underwear band which had famous brand names like "Calvin Klein" or "Armani". Girls of today show off their fashionable bra straps without a second thought.

I was reading a back dated issue of FHM where I saw advertisements on guy/gal underwear being marketed as hip and cool. The lingerie business is huge , and the male underwear sector is rapidly grabbing a fair share. People of today embrace fashion, branding and more importantly, comfort. Luxury undergarments cost a bomb. Somehow, I have yet to comprehend the logic of less fabric = more expensive. Is there a rational for it?

Eitherway, it's time to throw your cheap 3 for $10 grandpa/grandma undies away yeah? It's all about you. Do you know that your type of underwear reflects your personality?

This is what some dumb quiz said about me. Surprisingly true.

What Your Underwear Says About You

It's important that your underwear doesn't offend anyone - in case you get in a car accident. You're the type of guy who lets his girlfriend pick out his underwear.

The Underwear Oracle

How about you? Haha

PS- If you decide to purchase a pair/ pairs of funky undies, please keep an eye on them while drying your laundry (esp if you live in hostel). Underwear thieves are unfortunately always on the prowl. You wouldn't want to lose that funky pair do ya?

Blog must also upgrade

Woo Hoo! My Blog is less than a week old and I'm already getting compliments from people on the content and stuff. Feel so proud of myself. Haha. Alright, it may not be as fantastic as the incredibly popular blogs like the Xiaxue or Mr Brown but give me some credit yeah? I'm working on it. Go me!

I read Mr Brown's blog, he said something like government nowdays upgrade a lot flats. So much so that his kid even has a swing in his place. Wah! I want an Osim I-squeeze in my hall. Any sponsors? Hee.

Speaking of upgrading, here are the latest features I've added to my blog. Blog must also be upgraded, if not will look like some traditional text based website. Singaporeans are a kiasu bunch. Must always try to be number 1.

• Background Music (Special thanks to wispie and indirectly heisuke). I stole the code from her blog. Haha. Yeah...I'll post my own music when I find the time. I may consider removing the background music as it interferes with the video? Meantime, you readers will just have to settle for this. If you wanna stop the background music. Click on the "STOP" icon on your browser toolbar. I know it doesn't play on other browsers apart from IE. (I'm using firefox and no music plays in the background. Anyone knows any way to fix to browser issue?)

• Added a Blog hit counter. For me to know how my blog is faring. Still waiting for you readers to recommend my blog to your other friends.

• Added a MV section. You can now enjoy and watch Music Videos on my blog. Now showing- "Ai Mei by Yang Chen Ling". I like the soothing vibes to this song. You are supposed to see a windows media player window at the side bar below the song title. Not too sure if it'll give problems to those who are not on broadband. Do give me comments and I'll try to tweak on it accordingly.

Nothing too fanciful in the meantime. Waiting for feedback from you people. Email me or leave a comment. Cheers :)

Living in an unfair world

Uphill battles are fought everyday by millions of people world wide. For every battle won, lies on how the war was waged. More often than not, this is what separates performers from the high achievers. I chanced upon this phrase while reading a magazine some time back.

All human beings are created equal

Such simplicity in a sentence with deep meaning?? Not convinced, I looked from different scopes at people from all walks of life to look for examples.

This example has to be the best classic one can find today's world. Forget about Microsoft and Apple. Those were stories of the past. Google is real deal for today.

According to the 5 Dec 05 issue of BusinessWeek, the cover story wrote,

With a market cap in orbit and more cash than a small nation, Google is altering the tech industry's behavior.

More cash than a small nation? Seems remarkable for a tech startup founded in 1998. Some basic math will show that within a span of 8 years, Google has a market cap of $120 billion. In case you are wondering. $1 billion= $1000, 000000. (One thousand million). Now, multiply this number with 120. Alrite, I'll give you 5 seconds to gawk at this number. Now.... that's a whole load of money. How much can one earn in 8 years?

HANDSOME HUNK VS COMPUTER NERDS

Let's do a simple comparison, "David Beckham" vs "The founders of Google- Page & Brin"

David Beckham is the highest earning soccer player in the world. His wealth accumulated for the past years was last rated at 75 million pounds (as of 2005). No where close to Google's $120 billion.

Verdict- Nerds rule the world?

Were Brin & Page (Co-founders of Google) just plain lucky? They used to termed as geeks and nerds, but suddenly, they seemed to have lost that tag overnight. Sure! They had the luck and a fair share of opportunities, but without the hardwork, strategic planning and acute sense of technopreneurship placed into building a cyber empire, Google would probably ended up like just another search engine offering some internet services among the millions of websites out there.

But wait a minute, if they can do it? Why can't we do it too? If the world was fair, wouldn't everyone be millionaires by the time we reach 25? I can also say I look better than Beckham (haha... subjective mah...I have a big ego), but how come I don't get famous? I can also play soccer what. My JC friends called me Jaap Stam (after the famous ex- Man Utd defender). I also have played around with programming what... how come I do have opprtunity to set up my own search portal? I doubt it if one were to say that the rest of us lack the ability and drive to succeed. Do we lack dreams and ambitions? I doubt it. Why is it they are so successful while many of us who aspire to be the best remain fighting it out within the masses? I believe the answer lies in luck and opportunity. Everyone can put in the same amount of effort, but some will make it big, while others remain hidden in the gallows.

Still not convinced? I'm not going to make extremist comparisons so, let me make another comparison between 2 local personalities. Both are good at their own fields and have talents to their own right. I'm also sure both have also strived very hard towards their goals. I'll let you decide again if all human beings are created equal. Here's Patricia Mok and the ever fanntabulous Fann Wong.

You really want me to compare the both of them? Enough said. Period.
Crap to the saying that all human beings are created equal.

Oh yeah... In case you have not realised. Yes... I am a Man Utd supporter and I simply adore Fann Wong. Haha. U either love them or hate them. :)

Questionable controller design

After the World Cyber Games held in Singapore not too long ago, there has been a sudden explosive interest surge in the world of computer games. PC games enthusiasts and game console enthusiasts alike have found common grounds and are discussing the new controller designs for the next generation for gaming.

*Note to girls*

Ok girls, I know some of you gals may be thinking... "This entry is boring.... maybe I should just go shopping." Don't lose interest yet. Trust me... this entry is especially dedicated to you girls out there. There's a surprise at the end just for you.

With the Microsoft X-box and the Sony's Playstation 2 consoles being tremendous hits with gamers world wide. Gamers worldwide have high expectations on their new controller designs. Although both the X-box 360 and the Playstation 3 have yet to ship in, and developers have claim theses are just prototype designs, sneak previews on the new designs have sprung up over the net. (Note: All designs are copyright of their respective producers).

Here's the design of the X-box 360 controller. (below)

Here's the design of the Playstation 3 controller. (below)

Cool rite? Simply amazing. All the wireless technology and microchip power in your hands.

Now for the surprise as promised earlier... I found this comic strip by the guys who host Squarebrain.net . Personally I think they are really good with their comics. Check out their comic presented below. Introducing.....

"A questionable design choice"

Scroll down and enjoy.

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Click on the image to enlarge

Credit to these guys who have done a really good job. They have kindly agreed to allow the reproduction of this material. Do check out their comics on their websites. Something really refreshing. :)

Now guys... who ever said girls were never actively interested with the new generation game consoles?? *Wink*

Food Galore!

It seems that you'll never run out of tasting something new in Singapore. Just a few months back, a few food outlets have sprung up in town and the sub urban areas. Being an avid food adventurer, I decided to explore the new tantalising tastes to pamper my tastebuds. :P

For today's episode, allow me to introduce Carl's Jr.

Carl's Junior
Burgers that are too hot to handle. For those of you who are still wondering, does this brand name sound familiar? No? How about the name below?

PARIS HILTON

Still no? Oh well... how about this? Just for your viewing pleasure....





Haha. Now that I've got your attention, allow me to give my critic on Carl's Jr. I went to take a look at the branch outlet at Marina Square and was quite happy with the standard of the decor, service and food. For those who have yet to try it out, do not be deceived by the name. This junior serves huge monster sized burgers. This american fast food chain established itself in Singapore in mid 2005 and has been a hit with people. It is not surprising that you will have to queue sometime for your food before being served.

Food serving
If you thought MacDonald's Big Mac was huge, think again. Expect burgers with servings 1.5 - 2 times larger than your typical burgers. The meat patties were larger than life topped with a generous proportion of ingredients like tomatos, onions, cheese, lettuce and etc... depending on your choice of burger. In short, everything is monster sized. Forget about your happy meal sized meals. They're for kids.

Pricing
Expect to pay S$4.20 for the cheapest fish burger, Carl's Catch, to as much as S$8.50 for the Double Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. Each combo set costs an average of S$10 and comes with a burger, fries (onion rings or chicken strips) & a huge empty cup. The price is generally more expensive than your other regular fast food outlets and depending on your choice of combo meals and side orders, an order for two people will set you back by S$20.

Food quality and menu
Yup! In case you were wondering about the above part reagarding the empty cup, you've read it right. The empty cup allows you to have a choice a drinks available and it's free flow too. It's no wonder why crowds of people can be seen queuing up to top up their drinks. By the way, I must comment on the onion rings. Contrary to what I expected, the onion rings were also monster sized, with the average diameter of each ring the length of your thumb. Each ring was actually made up of REAL ONIONS and you can actually pull the onion out of its breaded crust. I also noticed that there was a condiment bar and 14 types of sauces for you to choose from. The menu was extensive and it was definitely a refreshing change from the normal, the menu had chicken/beef burgers, sandwiches, chicken strips, fries, onion rings and potato waffles. Check out the pictures below.



You may wish to click here to see what they have to offer. I did not managed to find a Singapore based website for CJ but this US based website will suffice. The burger patties were generally tasty and succelent. From what I understand, each meal to cooked to order, so you have to take a number tag (just like MOS burger) while they cook your food. I will personally recommend the Charbroiled portobello mushroom burger. They are having a $2 off promotion off the combo meal if you have the voucher. The taste was fantastic and I subconciously wolfed the entire burger in less than 3 minutes. I can't say the same for the Crispy chicken with bacon burger. (Not too sure of the full name). The chicken patty was quite hard and the taste was quite bland. The bacon also lacked the aroma and taste one would expect from an established food outlet. Do let me know your comments if you've tried the other burgers and side orders.

As I quote from an article from the sunday times by Mak Mun San, 28 August 2005,

There will always be new players coming into the market and that is welcome news for consumers as well as industry players.

Looks like this may just be the time for MacDonald's , Burger king, MOS burger, KFC and Long John's Silver to relook their corporate strategy. This new kid to the block is one to look out for.

Overall Rating
4 out of 5 stars.

P.S- I don't get any royalty fees from writing this entry.

Clubbing, Sex and Regret.

This entry is dedicated to all my guy friends who constantly ask me questions concerning the female population. Ok... Don't ask me why people always come to me for advice whenever it comes to matter regarding the female population. I have no idea. I have neither the professional expertise nor experience in such matters. I guess that hanging around predominantly with platonic female friends have given me a better insight on their complex behaviour and mindset. I feel I have a moral duty to educate the male population. With enough said and done, let's begin with this lesson.

**Disclaimer**
I'm no love guru, neither am I some professional skirt chaser. I have my own code of ethics and I believe that in no way that girls should be treated with disrespect. If you are expecting tips on how to be a swinger/ how to cheat on your partner/ how to flirt without getting caught, *shame on you*. THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR YOU. I do not believe in all that nonsense. Tips given here are based on my own personal judgement and may/ may not be socially/ethically acceptable to some. The better man (me) also disclaims all responsibility and liability which may/may not lead to your personal uprise/downfall while employing such tactics. Tips given below have/have not been tried and tested. Readers are advised to employ them on their own personal risk. All characters mentioned below are ficticious and do not represent anyone dead or otherwise. If you agree to these terms and conditions, read on. Otherwise, click here and entertain yourself with something more “wholesome” instead of flaming me and complaining/whining/bitching about how your life would have been better if not this entry.

Clubbing night's out

At the pub
It was another typical Wednesday night. Peeter Parker met up with his buddies after work and they were hanging at their usual pub for a drink.

Peteer Parker- Yo bros, I sick of all these crap, can't we go somewhere else. Need some spice in my life. You know, some place more "exciting", here got no chio bu. Haiz.. *Shakes his head in disappointment.*

Tom Kruise- Yeah man... this place suxs. I'm tired of hanging here all the time. This place is cool, but....*rests his head on the bar counter*.... sibeh sian* And we all do not even have girl friends...

Blatt Pitt- Why not we go down to dbl-O tonight? Ladies nite right? Sure got a lot of chio bu then we can also go down to the dance floor to rock our sexy manly bodies. Steady? I'm sure the chicks will be impressed by us.

Peteer Parker & Tom Kluise- Steady! Let's go clubbing tonite. woo hoo.. Fiona xie... Fann Wong look a likes, here we come!! Haha. *Runs off excitedly*

Upon arrival and dbl-O

*Dum da da dum da* Sounds of groovy beats can be heard in the background.

Tom Kruise- Eh? How come the queue is so long.

Blatt Pitt- Yeah man.. Looks like we have to queue up. Hey... Check out that cute chick on the right. Groovvvy.

Tom Kruise- Yeah man.. she's hot. Wow.. *starts to drool*

Blatt Pitt- *Hits Tom's head* Hey! stop drooling, your saliva is dripping all over the floor. By the way, where is that Peeter Parker. He always disappears mysteriously. Wonder what he is up to this time.

Tom Kruise- *Looks around* I don't see that bugger... OH! There he is...hmm.. wait a minute. I smell a rat. Shucks! Do u believe it? He's chatting with that hot chick we saw moments ago...

*Blatt and Tom wave frantically to get Peeter's attention. Peeter sees them and reluctantly returns to his buddies.*

Peteer Parker- Hi guys. Wadzup? *Acts innocent*

Blatt Pitt- What were you doing with that hot chick? She looks like Kelly, you know… that one from Project Superstar.

Tom Kruise- You’re faster than I thought! We have yet to enter the club and you are already picking gals up. *Gives a brotherly punch to Peeter* I’m proud of you! Haha.

Blatt Pitt- Yeah. No surprise. Haha. Congrats bro. So have you gotten her number? What’s her name?

Peteer Parker- *Shrugs his shoulders* I have no idea. I just know that she’s called Ice. A cool chick with a hot body. I’ll give her 8/10 stars. I think she likes me.

*Blatt Pitt & Tom Kruise Laughs off as they all enter the club. *

All 3 dudes decide to get a few drinks to get started and they drink up chatting up about the day’s events.30 minutes later, they decide to go down to the dance floor. All 3 guys decide to go on their separate ways to look for their individual targets and agree to gather back 2 hours later. Blatt and Tom had little luck in attracting any girls. Peeter on the other hand had a different experience..

Peeter spotted Ice who was dressed in a tube top and a mini skirt. She dancing on the podium stands and was performing a very sensual dance. Peeter decided approached her directly, grooving his body through the crowd. Ice was totally already mildly drunk by then and she was crazily shaking her bonbons and was attracting a lot of attention from the male population who was swarming over her. Peeter decided that he would not stand any chance if he joined the rest of the other guys who were like packs of wolves cornering their prey. Hence he decided to do something different.

Peteer Parker- *Approaches Ice and passes her his hand phone* Hey! Your friend is one the line. He says that he just got something urgent to tell you.

Ice- Huh? *Taken by surprise*. This isn’t my phone. Hello… hey!

Peeter walks away in a cool manner, intentionally ignoring Ice’s claims. He takes his time and make sure he doesn’t turn back.

Ice- Hey! You… come back. *Steps down from the podium and chases after Peeter* There isn’t anyone on the line. You’ve made a mistake!

Peeter- *Turns around and pretends to look surprised. He smiles at Ice coyly and grabs her hand*. I know there isn’t anyone on the line. As a matter of fact, this is my phone. How else was I going to get your attention from the pack of wolves out there?

Ice- *Taken aback* Oh!

Lesson Learnt- Girls like her a constantly surrounded by desperate guys. Get her attention in your own personal unique way.

Peeter- By the way, take out your phone. Let me show you something.

Ice takes out her mobile phone, giving Peeter a surprised look. What was he up to? Peeter tell her to key in the number.

Peeter- Store this number in your phone. 98765432. You’ll need it later. By the way, you look ravishing in this outfit. But be careful out there will yeah?

Ice- Uh…Ok. *Confused but flattered at the same time*

Peeter- Nice meeting you. You can join me later when you’re done. I’ll be sitting at that corner. *Places his mouth near her ear and whispers* By the way, that’s my number. Call me.

<<>>

Ice smiles at him and returns to the dance floor. He’s quite an interesting guy, she thought to herself. Moments later, Ice decides to look for Peeter, she goes over to where he’s sitting and starts chatting. Both of them have a certain chemistry and as they are both under the influence of alcohol, they let loose their minds and let their instincts take over. Soon, they engage in a certain level of physical contact.

Peeter Parker- You’re cute. Have I met you before?

Ice- Yeah.. We chatted outside the club earlier. Remember?

Peeter Parker- *Acts deep in thought* Oh really…. Let me think….

Peeter Parker- Oh yeah… you’re that gal I met at the entrance. So what is a hot chick like you hanging out here? Don’t you have a life? You should be out with your boyfriend.

Ice- I like this place for the music, ambience and the drinks. I come here once in a while to chill out to get rid of all that stress at work. Haha. I don’t have time for a boyfriend. So this is the next best place to be.

Lesson Learnt- Peeter tried to engage in a mutual conversation to get information out of Ice in a subtle manner to know more about her status and lifestyle. He does not show that he is desperate to get Ice. Attractive ladies have guys skirt chasing them all the time. Say something different which will get her interested in you

Peeter Parker- That’s cool. But enough said. You look drunk to me.

Ice- I’m not. I’m just … … *Ice leans herself on Peeter and closes her eyes. The influence of alcohol has taken a toll on her.*

Peeter Parker- *Feels a big sense of ego boost* Hey Ice... are you alright? Hello? Let me send you back. Where do you stay?

Ice- … … … (*dead drunk*)

Peeter decides to bring Ice out. Despite his repeated talking to her, Ice is in a very drowsy state. Not knowing where to bring her, Peeter decides to bring her over to the nearest hotel and leave her there. Upon reaching the nearest hotel, Peeter places Ice on the bed and decides to wash up. He is still under some influence of alcohol and is semi conscious. When he was done washing up, he looked at Ice, stared at her body and before he knew it, his instincts look over…. Ice was slightly conscious by then, she knew Peeter was all over her but she couldn’t find the strength to push him away. Just then, she felt better groping her body and she knew what was going to happen next. She was not interested in selling her body. She did not want to engage in any sexual activity with a guy she met a few hours back.

Ice- Hey… stop… What are you doing? Get off me you jerk !!! *pushes him away but to no avail*

Peeter continues to let his instincts take control. Ice was furious by then. She felt she had to stop it before anything happened. Obviously she could not overpower him physically. Flashbacks of her self defence class started to come to her and she decided to do the only think she could remember.

*OUCH… OUCH…ouch…ouc…ou…o….*

Peeter laid on the bed with his hands at this groin in tremendous. Ice had given his a deadly kick between his legs. All peeter saw was Ice quickly getting her clothes in proper order and quickly leaving the room. He blacked out soon after.

When Peter woke up, he found him self lying on a cold and hard cement surface. The room was dark and dingy. He looked around… His hands were restrained by handcuffs. He saw that he was confined in the police lock up cell. Ice had called the police in bid to protect herself. Peeter knew this was the end, his moment of folly had led him to his downfall. He sat down on the floor with his knees bent and head bowed down… He was in trouble…

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Blatt Pitt and Tom Kluise- Hey friend, how did you end up here? What the hell were you thinking?? We could not find you and you just went missing? We rushed to the police station the moment we heard you were arrested. Don’t worry bro, we’ll try to bail you out… Eh.. Policeman.. how to get my friend out of jail? *Voices fade away as his friends walk out of the lockup area*

Lesson Learnt- Respect the lady and treat her with dignity. Just because she engages in some form of physical contact with you, it doesn't mean she wants sex. Clarify her intentions before doing any thing stupid. Be in control all the time. Do not take advantage of her under any situation. Read the women’s charter and educate yourself. I can only advice you how to get the ladies attention but only you are responsible for your personal actions after that. I do not condone any bastardly actions against the female population. Learn to be a better man.

Why Do I Blog?

Why do people blog? I wonder to myself at times. It seems that based on my judgement that people blog to open up a new world, both for themselves and to others. Some do it for personal reasons, others do it as a business. I've been reading blogs for many many months. Some were crap, but others were delightful to read. People like Xiaxue, Rockson and Mr Brown have made a difference to others. Their blogs don't go unnoticed. They are (in my opinion) one of the better blogs I've seen so far. They dare to blog things which many people don't dare to speak about. Of course, some of these bloggers occured the wrath of some readers and needless to say, there were quite a few problems. Considering the fact that most Singaporean dare not make their dissent voiced out in public. It's just part of our culture not to complain and criticise about the government like the westerners. I salute to people like Xiaxue and rockson for daring to be different.

Then what is the reason for me to blog? I feel that to a certain extent, I use it as an outlet to let out my thoughts. When I was much younger, I was pretty introverted. Although I'm much better today, having a wide social network of friends from all walks of life, I can't help but to feel that little tinge of introvertness in me.

"It's not very good to keep everything to yourself you know?"

Keeping too much inside lead to depression. I'm sure nobody wants to end up with a nut loose in their heads. Ironic as it sounds, it is difficult to say things to people whom you know. Blogging is by my definition, talking to someone out there who is a complete stranger to you. No man is an island. We used to be confined by physical barriers. With the internet, the world is at your finger tips. We always need someone out there to lend a listening ear. Right?

To be a better man (Part 3)

This is the final posting on this issue. Read part 1 and 2 if you have not done so.

Early 2005

After the holiday stint to Bangkok, our relationship became rosier and sweeter. We made it a point to have meals together on a frequent basis despite our hectic schedules. I was on industrial attachment at Motorola and was generally quite free after work. This was definitely a good change from the hectic work load during school term.

January is a month for the Chinese New Year celebrations. For the very first time, we went down to Chinatown to experience the buzz and excitement. Last year's Chinese New Year was not a happy one, we quarreled over a minor issue and despite having an enjoyable night after the dinner and dance event, we ended the night with a sour note and I recklessly sped on the road which left her frightened and traumatised. This time round, I was determined not to let history repeat itself. I specially waited and bought "Bak Kua" for her so that her family could enjoy the traditional tasty delights for the festive season. Jer and myself visited Chinatown a few times (3 times, i think), just for the fun of it and it was a different experience altogether when you walk down the bustling street with a special someone. It was unlike any festive season I've spent with her. I felt like a lucky man and cherished every single moment with her. For the first time in many years, I went down to her relatives place to wish them a happy festive period. She in turn, also went house visiting with me. I felt very proud to let others know that I had a cool gal as my gf. I could not help but sense a warm feeling which engulfed me.

Is this how happiness really felt like? If so, will it last forever?

2nd - 3rd Quarter of 2005

Jer bought me a lightsaber. It is the one from Master Replicas Force FX Lightsaber; The Darth Vadar saber from episode IV. I've always wanted one as I'm a star wars fanatic. All that light saber slashing action is now a reality. Words cannot describe my excitement. Jer paid the collectible in full. A whopping S$250 dollars. Honestly speaking, that is very EXPENSIVE for an over rated piece of fluoroscent tube light blub attached to a piece a plastic. Never once did she back out from her promise to get me my new toy. Check out the lightsaber. It's the totally cool red colour lightsaber.

After that we went down to catch glimpes of the National Day Parade. I recalled we had Pizza Hut & KFC for dinner @ Funan centre. It was quite an experience as the pizza was placed in a really really small package. We were fortunate enough to catch more glimpes of the national day parade and we even got the best view of the fireworks (from an air con bus) along sheares bridge. Very LUCKY!! Jer was so excited that she messaged her best friend about watching the spectacular fireworks right after. Sometimes, it really makes me happy to see her smile.

4th Quarter 2005
Jer called me and told me she was seeking a change in work environment. After spending a considerable time at modus, she felt that it was good for her to switch careers. Her new workplace is located at Suntec City, right in the middle of town. She asked me whether I could accompany her to scout for the new office before she started work. Normally, I will have brought her there. Somehow, I was bogged down with tons of school work and ended up on the selfish side. I told her I was too busy to accompany her to locate the place and constantly procrastinated. In the end, she went to search for the place together with her friends. I don't know why I didn't accompany her even though it would only take a small amount of time. I promised to be with her and help her in times of need, but I guess my selfish behavoir surfaced out again.

She never said anything after that, but I knew I had disappointed her once again...

As per usual, the end of the year marks the time for the dreaded examinations. Jer and I occasionally went down to the Jurong regional library to study for the exams. She was taking 2 modules, Economics and some other business management module. She seemed jaded and exhausted, mainly because she just changed a job and was still adapting. Her modules had lots of readings and I constantly saw her mug for the exams. Even though she claimed she did not study very hard for the exam, I knew she will be able to score well.

She has proven before that she juggle both work and school easily. That is one aspect on why I respect her greatly, her sense of discipline is greater than most other people.

Too many of times, I've seen people giving up because they cannot handle the stress and workload of work and education. She is indeed special. No denying to it.

Jer asked me about how I felt about the relationship and whether I felt we could continue. Both of us felt drained from everything and we felt something was missing. I smiled and told her I will give her a reply after my examinations (which was directly after her papers).

I reflected every single day after she asked me that question. Was I doing her justice. There was no denying that she loved me more than I do. There was no denying that I did not treat her as well as I do. As each day past, I constantly asked myself how I felt for her. I love her, I still do, but will it be fair for her? She gave me multiple chances, forgave me multiple times and still continued to care for me. I have this instill fear in me that someday, when things go sour, things will turn out very bad. I don't want her to be hurt. I don't want her to be tied to a person like me who cannot give her long term happiness. I dare not give her commitment in fear that I will hurt her again in the future. She is truely a unique gal with a big heart. Surely she deserves someone better than me. The decision is a hard one to make.

Sometimes, the most painful decision in life is one which will give that someone special a better tomorrow....

To be a better man (Part 2)

This entry is linked to the previous post. Read part 1 before reading on...

Late 2002- Late 2004
This was the whirl wind part of the entire relationship. Just like a tornado. We just started out for not too long and then the issues started to pour in. I really liked Jer and tried to put a lot of effort in to make things work out. I still recalled I made grand plans to celebrate our one month anniversary and told her to keep the day free. It was going to be a surprise, I told her. She smiled and agreed.

During this period, she seems to be very busy not only at work, but also busy doing her MLM with e-excel. I was not a great fan of MLM and didn't like to see her doing it, but I knew it was something which she believed in and the benefits of the health products she was promoting. Initially, it was skeptical about how this whole MLM thing will turn out, as I was worried that she will be cheated. However, she convinced me that she was handling it well and she was happy with it. Hence, I relented my stance on this issue. When the one month anniversary day approached, I was excited about it and got things prepared to ensure nothing screwed up. Nothing must go wrong, i told myself. Sure enough, things went according to plan until she called me in the afternoon telling me she can't make it because she had to meet her cousin and attend some e-excel talk. I was stunned for a moment. Surely our anniversary is more important than some last minute MLM talk? She shrugged it off and said anniversaries meant nothing to her. At that moment, I felt silly for even planning for an anniversary. No doubt I was upset and told her about it, she gave me the impression that she was a bit "Bo chup" or in other words, " I cannot be bothered with you".

Valentine's day.
Feb 14, a day for lovers to celebrate their love. V-day approached and it was another disapointment. Not from her, but from me. I told her I will pick her up at city hall and told her to wait outside mango at 6:30 pm. She arrived early, sometime around 6:10pm and I guessed she was to a certain extent looking forward to the night. I was on my way driving down from Ang Mo Kio, down the CTE when I realised i made a serious error. *Shucks* , I was stuck in the rush hour traffic jam and to make things worst, I didn't realise the ERP was in operation and I can't find my cash card. What to do.... no choice. I made a detour, weaving out painfully from the jam to avoid passing through the ERP gantry. As such, I got lost on the road. I was a newbie driver then, and totally unfamiliar with the roads and I wandered and wandered until... I ended up at Keppel where all the container trucks were. ANOTHER TRAFFIC JAM!! By then, I was already 15 minutes late and no where near the destination. I gave her a call and told her I will be there soon. She sounded bored but she said it was okay and she'll wait for me. By the time I reached there, it was 7:15 pm. 45 minutes late. There she was, dressed up prettily like a blooming flower. She smiled even though I made her wait for almost an hour. I gave her 2 roses, and a teddy bear. I packaged the 2 roses for her personally and bought her a teddy bear (which she still keeps today) Although I knew she felt it was quite cheapskate, but I was really broke at that time and $40++ for the flowers and bear was taxing on me. (I'm only a student with no allowance...). Nonetheless, she still thanked me we made our way to down. By the time we got down to town area, it was 8 plus. (Kena caught in another traffic jam...) We settled for some light drinks and food at taka's coffee club express, watched some busker performing, spent a little quiet moments together. By then, she was really tired as she had to work the next day and so, we went back. (She must have really been disappointed.) But that was not all, the "best" part came.

I got lost again and couldn't drive her back home! Great....

Felt darn embaressed but had no choice but to ask for directions at some petrol station. Some uncle who was pumping fuel kindly agreed to lead us to the proper road so that I can get back on track. Off we went, until..... we had a shock. The guy led us to a road along bukit timah with a road sign that pointed to....

JOHOR (Malaysia)

What a shock!! Both of us were like... huh? Were we being tricked or something? I steadied my nerves and assured that I will get her home safe. I drove along bukit timah and with a stroke of luck, I magically managed to get back on course to the road that led to her place at hill view. I knew I had messed things up. She laughed at me over the incident and I blushed sheepishly. At least I got her home safely.

There were many times I went out with her during festive occasions. What could have turned out as happy events were screwed by me. Back then, I was bad tempered and flared at her for the slightess reasons. I embaressed her in public by shouting at her. Made her cry for no reason and constantly made mean remarks about her. Although she was patient and always kept things calm and tried to pacify me, I treated her badly. Naturally, she was not happy about how things turned out and her attitude towards me became cold and unfriendly. Things turned out quite bad between the both of us, we had cold wars, quarrelled over minor issues and not surprisingly, we broke up. At that period of time, my feelings for her were not as deep and I merely shrugged the entire incident off. However, she called me persistently and asked to patch back.

Community Service with kids
There was this occasion where Jer asked me to get involve in some community service project for the less fortunate kids @ the science centre. We were not very close, and had already broken up. We met up with the other volunteers and for the very first time, I saw a different side of her. She was in charge of taking care of a young malay girl who seemed quiet and demure. Totally different from the other kids who were rowdy and noisy. I saw Jer showing care and concern and for once, I saw the motherly side of her. She took the young girl around, constantly making sure the kid felt secure. Suddenly, a feeling struck me like a bolt of lightning. All these while, I have never given Jer a sense of protection and security... What have I been doing?

Despite my feelings for Jer, I never asked to patch back. She continued to call me despite me ignoring her for multiple times. After much consideration, and given my big ego, I agreed to patch back only on the condition that things will only work out my way. I knew she felt small and vulnerable at that point of time, but I didn't really bother. I was still very much immature, I continued to treat her well only when I felt like it. She constantly put up with all my anger, my tantrums, my attitude and my nonsense without complaining. I always blamed her for everything that went wrong, complained and grumbled about how she was and other stuff. My attitude didn't change as before...I told her that our personalities didn't match as she was the homely type of person while I was the direct opposite. As such, I called her a boring person to be with and called her names. Never once did I ever spare a thought for her. Many other major events occured. Some too personal to be written. But Jer was constantly by my side, all the time.

Not surprisingly, I soon noticed that there were many other guys beginning to chase Jer. From people like Weizhong, David, and how can I ever forget..... ANDVIN (or however u spell that name... i don't care). I knew deep down that Jer had many suitors and I also knew that they treated her very well. They showered her with gifts, cards, drove her around, picked her up from places, and cared for her. I don't know what came over me, but I accused her of being flirtatious and being unfaithful. Jer explained to me that she couldn't stop those guys from chasing her even though she rejected them and she reminded me that I should really treat her better. I was hot headed, bossy and unreasonable ; I told her off straight in the face...

If you think other guys are so good, then go to them.

I threatened to breakup again. She protested that we never really had a chance to work things out as agreed but I felt that I was never in the wrong. No doubt that she was very upset. After I railed and blasted at her, she quietly sent me an email telling about her personal thoughts. I felt the sorrow in her email as she tried to explain her situation. The email was dated January 2004. Jer doesn't come from a rich family, neither does she get a huge pay check, but she showered me constantly with expensive gifts without a second thought.

Things went crazy after that. We broke again and patched back once again. I knew Jer loved me all this while but I didn't reciprocate. She was facing a lot of personal family problems, but she never showed her sorrow openly. I felt sad for her, as I've been through the same experience as her. Jer was at the point of break down during many times and although I tried to be there for her, I knew she didn't feel secure with me.

Happy moments togehter
The situation became better as time got by, I treated her better and I could sense that she was a little happier. Quarrels became almost non existent and we worked things out together as a couple. We went to places all over singapore, and she often said I behaved more like a tourist than a local. haha. We went to places like Escape theme park, the zoo, bukit timah hill for trekkings, Sentosa and many more.... There was this instance when we were at escape themepark and she was very frightened of driving on the go-kart. In fact, she got into a mini accident on the track. At that moment, when I saw her go-kart go out of control, my heart stopped and I prayed nothing has happened to her. I rushed over to check on her but fortunately, she was generally alright. I'm sure she was frightened and was in shock but I was very glad she was not hurt in that incident.

Speaking of accidents, I was involved in an accident too. Although I was traumatised, Jer was there for me and also offered me unselfishly a huge sum of cash to fix the vehicle. I remembered she almost fell out with her mother on that sunday afternoon because she left her house quickly after she went back home, so that she could accompany me to search for the repair workshop. Although she claims that it was a small issue for her, it really touched my heart and I knew she was willing to stay with me in times of trouble.

Later in Dec 2004, we decided to go for our very first overseas trip. We were very excited over that trip and we made the trip down to Thailand. Initially, I suggested going down to Phuket, but luckily.. Jer insisted on going down to Bangkok. It was during our trip that Thailand, especially Phuket was struck by the killer tsunami that killed thousands of people. I feel that Jer was indeed my lucky star. If not for her, I wouldn't be alive today.

We had an enjoyable time at Bangkok, and Jer really liked to shop at the weekend market (It's called Chuptuchap or something like that, don't how to spell). I recalled her going on a shopping frenzy and she was so happy going from shop to shop. Many events happened there and we throughly enjoyed ourselves. It was definitely the happiest time spent with her. Pictures speaks a thousand words, so here are a few pictures to share.

The iterary was nicely planned out by her and I have to admit that all that effort put in led to an excellent holiday.